Hey hey, it’s MJ,

            So this year has been a cluster, I don’t want to put the second word because I try not to swear, so let’s call it a dumpster fire. Like all around just a mess and that means that any plans that we had this year have all gone out the window. Social distance, wear a mask, wash your hands, and don’t complain about it; that’s where we are at the moment in the midst of a dumpster on fire. 

            I am going to preface the rest of this post with my idea of fitness is more like “fitting this whole pizza roll in my mouth” but I also have dabbled in yoga, weight training, and even biking and running but I didn’t seem to stick to any of them, it was a motivation thing and I want to change that so bear with me for the rest of this post. 

            I know that I am not the only one whose mental health has suffered, I’m not the only one who has been spending time trying to pick up new hobbies, I’m not the only one worried, and I know that I’m not the only one who is just trying to keep their head up amongst the drowning feeling that is just 2020 as a whole. 

            I spent months trying to pull myself out of whatever funk I was in and writing and Animal Crossing both helped because I just needed a little escapism in my life. I found myself tired though and not just physically tired but I decided recently to reframe my mindset, not change it that’s a lot harder to do but I am reframing. I am not here to be some inspirational Instagram coach or tell you that everything is going to be okay as long as you put positive vibes out into the universe but I do hope that you are putting positive vibes out into the universe because you want to not because someone on the internet is telling you to.

            I have spent a lot of time listening to 80’s hair metal this year because it brings me joy, maybe hardcore rap brings you joy and pumps you up and you know what, you do you babe. 

            But I was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired so in August I decided to sign up virtually for Gourdy’s Pumpkin Run. I’m not allowed to run because of a problem with the joints in my left foot and a doctor told me running would run me the risk of breaking the joints in my foot, I ran the latter half of 2017 before knowing this and I had to stop even after I found my love for running but the 5K allowed for walking so I decided after seeing the ad on Instagram like a dozen times, you know when you click on an ad that’s all you see on Instagram and Facebook for a week and they got me. 

            Well I didn’t start walking until a few days ago but I did my 5K already, I was planning on building up to it but by accident I did it already, I had a plan too I was going to build up and walk it on Halloween on the trails at the art museum that is near my house. (If you are ever in Northwest Arkansas go to Crystal Bridges, it’s free and amazing all American art and they have a beautiful reference library that I want to spend days in and sprawling grounds full of sculptures and stuff, totally worth the visit.) But that didn’t stop me for signing up for one during Thanksgiving week, same company, it’s called Gobble’s Free Range 5K and I am looking forward to it.

            My last 5K time was 1:05:27 and for my next I want to be under an hour, it’s slow progress but I haven’t worked out in over a year because was so sick in January that I threw my back and tailbone out so hard that I pinched my sciatic nerve between either my lowest lumbar vertebrae or my sacral vertebrae, I cannot remember what the chiropractor said. It stayed that way until the end of March where I would have to crack my back in doorways or on my bed because I kept reinjuring it because I was in school all day, I slept with an icepack on my hip/back because I was in constant pain. School closing in March sucked but it was a blessing in disguise because my back healed, granted I still have to crack my back but I can feel my foot again which is the best thing. 

            But I decided to reframe, I want to be healthier, I have never been a small person and going clothes shopping is the worst thing for me but I don’t want to feel like way anymore. This is more to keep me accountable than anything else because I am not a coach, I am not trying to influence anyone to do anything, I want people to make good and healthy choices because they want to not because someone tells them to but I made the decision to actually stick to goals from now on. I want to be able to walk miles, I want to be able to hike, and visit all sorts of places without being in pain. So here I am saying these words on my blog, in my creative space to hold me accountable for me. 

            My medal comes in the mail hopefully this week and when I get it I will put a picture of it here somewhere but I if it takes something physical to say I did something it is what it is and I am okay with that, I get something shiny for walking a few miles. I plan on doing longer challenges next year because now all of my targeted ads on Facebook and Instagram are for walking and running challenges so here I am seeing cool medals and I want a wall of them someday, a binder full of finishers bibs, and a closet full of cute work out tops because I want to be a better version of me. I want to be the me that me as a kid needed and would have looked up to. 

            This is more a post for me, that I can promise but putting it in a public forum means that it’s out there for anyone and everyone to read and I am finally okay with sharing my journey, abbreviated, but still my journey.

            Any fun virtual walks that you guys have done that I can look into? Let me know in the comments. 

            I will see everyone later in the week with another post, so until then I hope you have a great week! 

            -MJ