The Pressure to be Amazing

Hey hey, it’s MJ,

            Something has been on my mind for a few days now and I feel like with the pandemic and subsequent quarantine everyone has been spending a lot of time on the internet and I know that my mental health has taken a hit this year but has it stopped me from consuming internet content? No because I don’t want to miss anything. I took some time off of Twitter and it was the best couple of weeks I’ve had in a while because I wasn’t constantly seeing what everyone else was doing, the current trends, any hot button topics, or internet fights and I think that it’s about time I do that again.

            Because we all spend so much time online we are bombarded with people who seem to have perfect lives, who post long and rambling stories about how everything is amazing in their lives and I don’t know how much of that is real but in some cases it seems really disingenuous, no one can be that perfect and happy all the time. Sorry, that’s an opinion and if you don’t agree with me, that’s fine.

            We worry about likes and recognition on the internet, I say as I write a blog for a hobby and aspire to inspire others. We worry about our reach and how many people are seeing our posts and with the rise of social media as a career people have gotten in some cases too much to handle. 

            I don’t know if this post will actually be posted but it might and I don’t care if it gets no views or likes or comments it’s just something that I need to get off my chest. I see people I went to school with living these idyllic lives on one social media platform but telling a different story on another. I try to be pretty consistent across all of my social media platforms but right now I am tired, I am stressed, and I have been comparing myself to others for years now.

            They used to tell us that you shouldn’t compare yourself to anyone but who you were yesterday and who you want to be tomorrow but with the rise and reach of social media it seems like everything I do is wrong or not keeping up to the pace of my age group. 

            So much has changed in the last decade, everyone is online showing off everything they are doing and in some cases I love it but in some cases it feels like they are trying to rub it in people’s faces. To take everything they do and make it “influential” and that to me just doesn’t feel right, it makes me itch. 

            Here’s my take away from the internet and our lives through the lens of social media: 

We don’t all have the same path nor do we walk down that path at the same pace. Compare you to you, be the person that you would have looked up to when you were younger. Don’t let other people’s Instagram pictures determine your worth. You are worth more than the likes that you get on your photos. Everyone has the potential to be absolutely amazing so don’t let someone tell you that you are less than just because you aren’t doing the same thing they are. Surround yourself with people in your real life that can help you remember that you are a rock star or a superstar or whatever kind of star you want to be. 

            It’s okay to look at other people’s lives and celebrate their happy moments, laugh at their funny moments, and mourn with them in times of sadness but bogging yourself down trying to make yourself someone else won’t bring you and joy or happiness. Sometimes I think that we forget that we are human, we aren’t perfect, we are flawed, and we make mistakes but mistakes are what help us learn for our futures. 

            I feel like I don’t share a lot of who I am personally because I like the distance between Wait it’s MJ and real life MJ, that separation between a “brand” and a person because I am not amazing all the time, I am a mess at all times but I have moments where I feel amazing and somedays that it literally just getting my laundry out of the dryer the same day it goes in the dryer instead of an embarrassing amount of time later. It doesn’t have to be big amazing things, the small things that bring a smile to your face those are the moments that are important. 

            I just needed to get some things off my chest today because I have been feeling really emotionally and creatively drained recently and I think it’s because I have been holding myself to an impossible standard of perfection because of the internet. I think that social media detoxing is important and there is nothing wrong with it, take your mental health seriously, care for yourself because you need to be whole and healthy too. Check yourself before you wreck yourself or whatever.

            Life is lived off of the internet, if we didn’t have lives to live we would have nothing to post so take a step back make sure that you are doing what you need to do to be happy off the internet, away from the scrolling, and posting. Live your life, live your journey, and don’t worry about being amazing all the time because that just sounds exhausting.

            Have a good rest of the week and I will see you on Sunday for a much more regularly scheduled nice and happy post, I just needed some real talk.

            -MJ 

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